Street Spirit

Quite strong words for a category which sometimes could be used to describe me. True but sadly generalizations have no mercy and I am guilty by association. I am accessory to the crimes several of these commit by just letting them do their own. It is understandable of a few are guilty of one or two of these crimes to civilization, but no! Almost all of them are guilty of the whole decorated set of shockingly inappropriate public behaviour and what’s worse is like in everything else they do they find it no wrong. Here are the medals for hall of shame and they only pertaining to his behaviour on the street and in public places.

• They see, They Pee: If I had a dollar for every time I saw a man empty his bladder on the street I would be featuring in the forbes lists. Have you no shame unzipping and pulling out your organ in a public places and spray all over the poor wall. They do it alone, they do it in pairs. They do it near waste dumps, the do it on the cleanest roads. They do it on a lonely road and on a busy road. They don’t discriminate when it comes to a place to uriniate. Every wall has its day. They all ought to be incarcerated for public nuisance and exhibitionism. Atleast bring back that rule which was there a couple of years ago where they pick up a man caught urinating and drop him six km away.
• Its Pan man: Sequel in the spraying festival. This time it is from an other orifice called the mouth. They chew tobacco and ingest volumes of the red gooey material and get all kinds of digestive system related cancers. Fine. But why the hell do you have to spray paint my town with your disgusting oral graffiti. They should all be made to take their shirts of and clean their own spit.
• Loud’speaker’: Another among the hyderabadi mia’s virtues are being born with an inbuilt amplifier. This amplifier seems to work exceptionally well in public place and in public transport especially among peers. Please just stop bragging about your sad, pitiful and meaningless life and do the public some good. We dont find your jokes funny and you don’t have voice like Jeremy Clarkson’s or Amitabh Bachchan. People please them to keep their silly fat ego and mout shut.
• Foul Ghoul: A powerful add-on to being a loudspeaker which brings even the brilliant Firefox 3.0 to shame. He can’t control the voice, that’s ok! At least control the soddy tongue! You are not macho if you dole out a list if never ending expletives beating around the bushes of fornication and allusion to some one’s mother. We understand that you ahave a sad job, demonic wife, miserable children etc. But, please that gives you no right to chant hymns from the drainage pipe. They ought to actually clean the mouths of these people with soap, no detergent actually!
• Rules and Queues .. Kyun? : There again props the ugly head of the irascible nincompoop who finds rules flexible, law beneath him and queues, no he doesn’t understand queues. If and when he sees one he behaves like monkey given an iphone. He has no regard for the traffic rules are or any other rules. The biggest scapegoat is the half-decent minority(aka the rest of the population) in the city because it faces danger due to his heroic antics like charging at the red light, driving drunk and aimlessly, turning through gaps in the dividers etc. He likes doing multiple ‘s’ at the traffic lights trying to steer through the narrowest of gaps. And all these were only rule breaking pertaining to traffic.

There are several other worthy mentions in the hall of fame shame. The most important being his hands. There is no limit to the places they have been in public. Right from scratching his head, digging his nose and adjusting his pants and crotch to placing it on whoever is besides him and putting pressure on the poor neighbour while moving around and pushing someone else to move across. He simply doesn’t understand the concept of personal space. And there are several rogues who form a smaller subset of this group who indulge in far more worse behaviour and in anti social activities like domineering, mugging. Eve-teasing, drunk roaming etc.

Why are we like this? Is it the ignorance and illiteracy? Is it hatred of one another or disregard for civil life? It may be due to all the above reasons, may be none. I don’t know but all I know is, it is wrong!

Rehne do bhai. Ab isme kay badi baat hai? Class mat lo.

-V-